thus making me awesome and them whores
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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