It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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