Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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