: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
