chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
