I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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