My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
