Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I smell stomach acid.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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