google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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