I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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