I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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