I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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