No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
