i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
