i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
