just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
