Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
