I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize