Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
