is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
