i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize