plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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