Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
