she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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