Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
