Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
