Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am midnight drunk by noon
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
