Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
