I skipped work to stalk him.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
