I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
