Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
