he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
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Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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