So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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