A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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