Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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