So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
