I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
