Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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