Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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