Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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