Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
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Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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