Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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