bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
