Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
