I puked a lego.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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