Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
