the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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