he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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