yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
