I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I will be naked everywhere
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
