And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
