This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
