I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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