just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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