The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
