at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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