super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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