wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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