What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
