This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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